Andrew's Blog

New Blogs

2009-04-29T02:41:00.000-07:00

Hi,

This blog has been abandoned.

If you're still checking it, hoping for updates, you can find me elsewhere on the Internet.

Visit my personal blog (updated infrequently), or my new blog about public speaking.

Thanks,
Andy

Optimise your Windows programming environment

2007-06-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

In an ideal world every developer would be given fast computers, two high resolution monitors and the choice between Linux and Windows. Unfortunately this is rarely the case. I'm stuck with Windows - which is great for web browsing and creating Power Point presentations - but it doesn't really cut it for programming tasks out of the box.

This post outlines some of the programs I have installed, and the configurations I have used to make Windows a bearable programming environment. All applications have been chosen for their simplicity, low ram foot print and free availability. Any changes to Windows settings have been selected to either provide better information at a glance or reduce click count. The only prerequisites for applying these changes are that you know how to edit the registry and edit your path environmental variable.

Text Editor
Programming involves huge amounts of plain text manipulation whether it be source files, make files, scripts etc. What does Windows provide to edit these? Notepad.

I think the minimum one should expect from a plain text editor is: syntax highlighting, auto indentation, block indentation, parenthesis checking, a good search utility (across multiple files with regular expressions), a tabbed interface for multiple documents and speed. The final feature might sound obvious (it is just a text editor) but IDEs loaded with unnecessary features or even the most simple editor written in Java has the tendency to be slow.

I recommend Programmers' Notepad. Pn supports syntax highlighting for multiple languages including C/C++, perl, html and many others. It is fast as it is written natively for Win32. It's intuitive and has everything you would expect.

Even if you use an IDE for your primary development I would recommend getting hold of pn, you will always need a text editor to knock up scripts or html pages and there is no need to resort to using Notepad. Personally I will only ever use an IDE if I need to use the integrated debugger (which is rare because I work with hardware).

You'll want to associate your source files with pn2 (.cpp, .h etc.), however I come across new file types all the time and some I do not want to associate with an editor (e.g. .html, .bat, .pl). I avoid file association problems by adding an "Open with Programmers' Notepad" into my explorer context (right-click) menu.

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\*\Shell\Open with Programmers Notepad 2\command]
default="C:\Program Files\Programmers Notepad\pn.exe %1"

I've also included "C:\Program Files\Programmers Notepad;" in my path so it can be opened from the command line by typing pn filename

Text Comparison
When you have multiple versions of code kicking around a comparison tool is essential for quickly examining what has changed.

Unfortunately I couldn't find a free app that rivals Beyond Compare ($30). I use this because the company I work for has a site license. I've tried a few free alternatives and by far the most superior is WinMerge. This app provides a clean simple interface for text file comparison and you can edit text within the differencing pain (unlike KDiff3). The directory comparison utility isn't great so I'm still on the look out for something better.

Both Beyond Compare and WinMerge provide quick comparisons through the explorer context menu.

Hex Editor
If your developing anything for hardware, dealing with file systems or communications you will require a hex editor to read binary files.
I recommend ICY Hexplorer. It provides simple hex editing and colour schemes to highlight ASCII text, NULL bytes etc.

It is unlikely that you would ever want to associate a binary file (e.g. .exe) with an editor, so as before I've added an "Open with Hexplorer" option to my explorer context menu.

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Classes\*\Shell\Open with Hexplorer\command]
default="C:\Program Files\hexplorer\hexplo.exe %1"

Command Line
I don't think anyone really likes DOS. I know lots of people who use cygwin, but I'm not keen on it as some things have to be done in DOS meaning you'll have to split what you're doing over two shells. To make the Windows Command Line Interface better I have done the following things:

Enabled TAB auto completion - This is not default in Windows2000 which is a disgrace.

[HKEY_CURRENT_USER/Software/Microsoft/Command Processor]
CompletionChar=9
PathCompletionChar=9

Installed unixutils - These are native Win32 ports of standard Unix utilities including grep, sed, tr, vi, cat etc. Put the \unixutils\usr\local\wbin directory in your path so you can access them from directory.

Installed Console - An interface on top of cmd.exe. It provides better layout options (font, transparency etc.) and multiple consoles in tabs.

Reusable Scripts Directory
Useful scripts and batch files get shoved into d:\scripts which is made globally accessible by adding it to the path environmental variable.

Obvious examples..

Quick navigation:

d \really\really\really\ridiculously\long\directory\tree

Better formatting with showpath:

echo %path% | tr ';' '\n'

Personal Wiki
While not a Windows specific tip I use TiddlyWiki to note down useful bits and pieces such as:

Awesome regular expressions that I might want to reuse
Documents I'm currently writing (before I export them to the Word)
Useful bits of code
Todo list
Anything I might want to remember

TiddlyWiki is a single html file that edits itself using javascript, so it's easy to setup: just copy it locally, no need for a webserver. I keep mine in a shared directory so I can access it on my desktop and my laptop (either directly or through the VPN). It's also very easy to backup simply by gmailing it.

Cheat Sheets
Again not a Windows specific tip, but for ultra quick reference no programmer's desk would be complete without a cheat sheet. Check out ILoveJackDaniels for some pre-made ones including regular expressions .

Disable desktop icons
I don't like desktop icons, you're required to minimize everything you're working on to get to them and the desktop often becomes a dumping ground for crap. A clear desktop encourages storing files in a proper place. Disable them by right clicking on the desktop: Arrange Icons By -> Show Desktop icons.

Apply a consistent view to all folders
I like details view with file extensions enabled and hidden files shown. It's nice to be able to see when the component you're about to export is full of hidden temporary files, and it's nice to be able to change the file extension without having to open a command prompt. I prefer details view so I can quickly see the sizes and date/time of last modification at a glance (very useful to check if a binary has really been compiled).

I won't insult you with how to set that up, but Tools -> Folder Options -> View(Tab) is your friend.

Windows Search
If you've followed the steps above you can use the build in search tool in pn2 or grep -r to search for text within files. However a regular search facility is still required to search for files by name. I haven't experimented with an indexed search system (like the one included in google desktop) as I download fresh code before making a change, not really giving enough time for it to be indexed. In Windows XP the default search dialogue sucks. You can make it a little bit better by reverting the interface back to a Windows 2000 feel:

F3 (brings up the search dialog) -> Change Preferences -> Without an animated character
and
Change files and folders search behavior -> Advanced (lol)

When you disable the animated dog, it gives you one last smile and wanders off the screen.

Why are we Happy?

2007-06-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Less than an hour after posting my previous post where I discussed "The Power of Now" I stumbled upon on a talk that was presented at TED 2004 by Harvard psycologist Daniel Gilbert. One of the points he makes at the beginning nicely compliments one of Tolle's points without being vague and spiritual...It made my blogging fingers itch ;)

Gilbert describes how human evolution has resulted in the ability to simulate situations in our minds due to the presence of the frontal lobe. In essence people can make decisions by playing out two scenarios in their head and deciding which would make them happier. I think this illustrates Tolle's statement: "You are not your mind". There is a distinct difference between the images and thoughts in your head and the conciseness that must make the decisions.

Gilbert expands on this stating that whichever choice we make will have no baring on how happy we are in the future. People have the tendency to synthesise happiness to fit their situation even if their situation was initially unwanted. Usually we scoff at people who claim to be better off after they lost everything, but Gilbert claims that this synthesised happiness might be just as good or better as natural happiness (where you actually get what you want).

This is an awesome video, I think I'm going to buy his book..

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(video link)

Andrew on Spirituality and The Power of Now

2007-06-08T06:06:00.000-07:00

I shy away from most things that claim to have a basis in spirituality. Religion, for example, seems absurd to me and I'm always slightly amused when someone from a mainstream religion like Anglicanism looks down upon a less widely followed religion like Mormonism or Scientology because they are equally ridiculous to me.

I do, however, believe that spiritual concepts can be employed by skeptics, however some people have the tendency to take things too far. For example I used to practice Aikido, a Japanese martial art translating to "The way of harmony". Central to Aikido was the concept of "ki" (or "chi" in some other martial arts) which is an intangible energy that can be focused into blows, movement balance etc. I didn't take this literally and I never believed that a successful dispatch of an opponent was the product of anything other than simple mechanics; however visualising ki running though my and my opponents bodies gave me new insight into the movements as well as aiding relaxation and peace of mind. Some people will take this further believe it is more than a useful psychological mechanism, while this is not harmful to their Aikido I think they are ceasing to be rational and may develop unrealistic expectations of what ki can really achieve or become lost in ceremony.
Another example is meditation. While I do not meditate I imagine that devoting time to relaxation and breathing could relieve stress or focus though in a better direction, however I think that most pragmatic individuals avoid such practice because of the association with "out of body experiences" and spirituality.

While I was in India I was reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle which I originally heard of on Tyler's blog (the "evil" pickup artist from The Game). In late night, beer fueled discussion with my spiritual traveling buddy (what up Matt ;)) I asserted that I didn't think the Power of Now was spiritual which was met with an incredulous silence followed by ferocious debate. He later showed me the front cover smugly pointing out "The Power of now: a guide to spiritual enlightenment". I was surprised. I had simply not registered this. I had perceived the text as a series of logical descriptions about mind and consciousness and suggestions on how we should focus our thoughts. Anything vague or spiritual had been regarded as a psychological mechanism and the thesis had seemed sensible.

I get the feeling that the person who would buy this kind of book would be "more in touch with their spirituality" (hmmmm), so perhaps this is why this aspect has been promoted on the front cover. I do, however, believe that this book can be broken down into a few core concepts and I think the term "spiritual" is misleading and verging on redundant. I was pleased to discover that such a break down of the thesis exists on Wikipedia.. of which I will present my own adaptation:

(1) You are not your thoughts
Tolle challenges Descartes' famous quote: "I think therefore I am" claiming that the core description of one's self cannot be expanded beyond "I am". Your conciseness exists independently of mind/thoughts, although I would argue that both exist as electrical signals within your brain.
Your mind is a useful tool when used effectively, but it can also bombard you with negative unhelpful or irrelevant thoughts.

(2) Only the present moment exists
Ok..

(3) Accept the present moment

Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your life

Don't resist what you can't control, don't wallow in self pity that things haven't gone as you hoped, accept things as they are and take action to rectify things if you need to.

(4) Observe the pain body
Observe how the mind produces negative thought patterns. Rather than identifying with them, observe how irrational and unhelpful they are.

I think that's quite simple and accessible to skeptics. Apparently this is very similar to Zen Buddhism, which I learned from several reviews accusing Tolle of plagiarism.

Back From India

2007-06-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

At the end of my two week holiday in India I took a Taxi from Colaba, the tourist district of Bombay (or Mumbai: the seldom used non-anglicised official name) to the international airport; a transition in my journey that would eventually lead to familiar food and an abundance of clean seat-style toilets with soft toilet roll for which I had bean yearning. The taxis in Bombay are all the same ancientvehicles painted in yellow and green still holding together after about thirty years, decorated in true Indian style with frills and tassels across the windscreen and the overloaded boot tied shut with a piece of rope.
The driver, a chatty twenty-one year old is dressed smartly in a the shirt and trousers combination that almost every Indian man seems to wear even in the thirty-seven degree pique of Indian summer. He tells me that the hotel owners demanded a Rs120 (that's Rupees, £1=Rs80) for providing a customer, which was over a third of the total price of the journey. He's welcoming and friendly, and calls out to friends on the street with what I can only assume were laddish in-jokes. He's excited by the fact that I work with phones and is keen to show me his. He tells me that he's been a taxi driver for three years. His father came toMumbai to work as a private driver, leaving his family in a village south of Pune . At seventeen he came to live with his father, but after three days in Bombay his father was killed in a traffic accident. He was lefthomeless and and struggling to find a job. The driving job he eventually found paid Rs3500 (£43.75) a month, twelve hours a day, no holiday. He tells his family that he makes Rs5000 working in an office, rather than the profession that killed his father. He supports them with the money he earns, while having to sleep on the street at night.
He's in good company on the streets. Wandering around Colaba at 2am every alleyway was full of people sleeping on makeshift beds. People were sleeping on their market stalls and others sprawled over the pavement. The poverty in Bombay is just so IN YOUR FACE. Other backpackers at various stages in their round the world trips were frequently of the opinion is that the slums they had seen in India were by far the worse they had seen in South America and Africa, mainly due to the fact that they contained so many more people. I was quite surprised by that.
The population in India is immense. Even when we took the train out to rural areas it was hard to get away from vast crowds of people. Looking around Iremembered the quote "They have more honour roll students than we have students" from this video (that first came to my attention on Lloyd Morgans blog). I'm sure that as the economy develops we're going to see masses of innovation and new interesting businesses coming out of India - however they'll most likely to put up with providing cheap labour and programming to the West for a few more decades/centuries. My friend asked someone "Do the Indian government have any plans to address the poverty and population problems?" the response was "What could they possibly do?". Even though India must contain an abundance of extremely clever people its difficult to imagine what they could achieve on £43.75 a month.

Indian toilets

2007-05-21T01:16:00.000-07:00

Am sitting in an internet cafe in Mumbai. Although not the primary reason for comming here I just did a quick google search for how to use Indian toilets. Here is the best description I found:

Butt Care
Ann, this is how it's done. Put one foot on each of the pads on
either side of the hole(or ditch). Squat and crap. Using your LEFT HAND, wet the
hand with your water supply. This is so the crap doesn't stick to the hand. Wipe
your anus clean with the wet fingers. Rinse off the feces from fingers with the
water supply. This leaves you clean as paper at least and not wet like the timid
splash method.

Nice!!!!!

Source

Mumbai

2007-05-18T03:19:00.001-07:00

Arrived in Mumbai very early Thursday morning.

We are staying in the main touristy area, Colaba, which is in the southern tip of Mumbai. Yesterday we went to look around the market. Almost everything was overpriced rubbish aimed at tourists. We followed the market as far as it went and after about fifteen minutes of walking it turned into a slum. We were surrounded by makeshift houses and corrugated iron shacks. One section was selling fish which were covered in flies, the heat was making them stink so badly that I thought I was going to be sick. The town surrounded a beach that was a mountain of rubbish. Naked children were climbing over it and shitting into the sea.

This morning we went to Laughing Yoga in the park. This is essentially standing in a circle and doing different kinds of laughing with associated actions... like etiquette laugh (hand over mouth), American laugh (slapping thy), Computer laugh (pretending to type). :D

Headed up to the shrine of Matt's guru (Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj) today. An hour and a half on the Indian local trains. The trains themselves look like they are at least 50yrs old. people pack into them and hang out the side. We passed though countless slums on the ride up. Everyone has been really friendly and keen to offer advice/directions (with the exception of the hawkers). One cool guy we met, a trainee dentist, spent over an hour talking to us, drove us to a restaurant then dropped us off at the station.

We're off to Goa on Sunday night (11 hour sleeper train), where we'll hit the beach.

India Tomorrow

2007-05-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I fly to Mumbai, as I mentioned in this post. The general idea is that we turn up with little in the way of plans, and nothing in the way of accommodation. I'm excited and slightly apprehensive, especially seem as my travelling buddy, Matt (his abandoned(?) blog), suggested going to a place "somewhere around here" while circling an area the size of western Europe with his little finger and "westerners get approached to star in a Bollywood movie every few minutes or so".

I'm staying up late to pack so that I can sleep on the plane. This is what I'm bringing...

Karimor Jaguar 65+10l rucksack - Main Luggage
JanSport backpack - Hand Luggage/Day trips
Nine tee shirts - It's going to be hothothot out there. A few are free tees that I will just throw away after using them.
Three pairs of shorts - one of which is also swimming trunks
Twelve pairs of boxer shorts - they're all I have including the thirteenth I'm wearing now, I guess I'll have to be creative on day 13 and 14.
Fourteen pairs of socks - Prob won't need that many, but they stuff down pretty small
Vanns + two pairs of flipflops
Jeans+Hoody - to wear to and from Heathrow in the cold and wet London weather
Books: No Logo - Naomi Klein, The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle, Rashomon - Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Lonely Planet guide to Goa
Folder full of printouts - from wikitravel, travel itineraries etc.
iPod - Including some awesome progressive breakbeat
Sony Ericsson P1i + charger - Because I can
Box of Pocky - That I got free today
Poi - Because they're s cool
Passport
Lots of toiletries
Malaria tablets
Diohrrea tablets - Lots
And a few other things...

Ok, getting tired. Off to bed. Watch this space for updates.

Brompton S2L review

2007-05-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

So I've told you how I go my new bike, but what's it like? I've had it a week now and here are my thoughts on it..

How cool do I look?

Bromptons are very popular in London Town. You see them everywhere. Does that make them cool? My friend from school told me that his dad had got matching Bromptons for himself and his wife and they cycle them around Guernsey where they live. He advised me not to get a Brompton 'cos he would be reminded of them.

Whatever.. it's who is riding it that matters, and I'm totally cool!

What's it like to ride?

The handle bar is considerably shorter than my previous bike meaning that it initially feels quite unstable; this isn't an issue after about five minutes of use and it feels extremely agile. I'm able to maneuver past cars and overweight commuters with the greatest of ease. The wheels are about 40cm in diameter, so I was expecting this bike to be noticeably slower than my old hybrid road/mountain bike. Not the case. I've been told that the small size of the wheels reduces the turning resistance and world record attempts for cycling speed have been made with similar size wheels. This bike is part of Bromptons "Sport series" so the gear ratios have been designed for speed. The front cog is about 20cm in diameter (my manager commented that it looked like a dustbin lid) and the rear cogs are minute. These choices were clearly effective as my journey time is the same as as on my previous bike.

As I was coming back to cycling after about six months the saddle was a bit of a "pain in the ass" but I'm sure I'll get used to it in a couple of weeks. The simple suspension system using a rubber bung certainly helps.

What's it like to store?

Transport For London recommends spending £40+ or 20% of the cost of the bike on a decent lock, and you should probably get two. I spent £35 on my previous lock and some chav picked it in about ten seconds. Currently I don't own a lock. The Brompton folds up amazingly small so I keep it under my desk at work and in the kitchen at home. I plan to put it in the shopping trolley if I take it to Sainsbury's. The main reason I got a Brompton was that its size allowed it to stored safely all the time.

What's it like to maintain?

I've had a puncture already. While cycling over Chelsea bridge I got a staple punctured my inner tube in two places and I forgot to take the staple out of the tyre so it was punctured again when I put it back on. Fuck! Simon commented that the probability of getting a puncture are exactly the same every time you ride your bike - I was just extremely unlucky to get one during the first week. despite that yesterday I brought three new inner tubes and some Kevlar lined tyers so hopefully this won't happen again too soon.

The back wheel was pretty easy to take off. The rear deraliure and chain tensioner are extremely simple and look very robust. Quite a feat of engineering. There are lots of videos on youtube regarding Brompton maintenance so I was well prepared and replacing the inner tubes/tyres went smoothly.

And finally..

It seems there is a Brompton world championships... where participants wear suite jackets while racing their Bromptons around a track. Check it out...

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Halfords and the Cycle to work scheme

2007-05-10T07:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so while I'm logging some test output I'm going to write up my experiences with the Cycle to Work scheme run by my company.

Back in November I had my bike stolen from outside work. I assumed that it would be safe on the bike racks outside the building as they are visible to the security guards and there are usually staff mingling around the area. Unfortunately his was not the case. Several bikes were stolen by fast working hooded figures leaving nothing but some blurry security camera footage. I didn't buy a new bike immediately as winter was approaching and I was also hoping that I would be able to benefit from the Cycle to work scheme that is offered once a year.

The government is encouraging people to cycle, presumably to reduce road congestion, carbon emissions and ease the burden on public transport. I frequently see billboards advocating cycling to work sponsored by the "Mayor of LondON" or The British Heart Foundation. The "Cycle to Work Scheme" offers a tax incentive to people buying a new bike by taking payment directly out of your paycheck before it is taxed (removing income tax and national insurance contributions) and not levying VAT (a further 17.5%). Technically the bike is brought by the company and is "rented" by the employee over a period of eighteen months; in essence this is an interest free loan. Obviously this can be extremely beneficial to recent graduates little money ;)

The scheme was advertised company wide on the 30th January and we were informed that this year the administration of the scheme would be handled by Halfords...hmmm. Seem as I'm not a twelve year old school boy I was very concerned that Halfords would not be able to cater to my needs: I was after a serious commuting bike, not some piece of fucking shit.

A representative of Halfords was available to answer questions the next day. He informed us that Halfords could order other bikes not available on the Halfords catalogue and the Brompton S2L that I was after could be purchased through this scheme. I was also told that only income tax and national insurance contributions would be deducted from my costs, VAT just disappeared somewhere to cover costs etc. I'm not sure who takes this (presumably Halfords) but whoever does makes a nice little profit. Either way this was still the cheapest way to purchase a new bike so I signed up. This essentially meant ordering a voucher for £600 from their website using a logon/password they provided. This took about a month to arrive.

So now I had a Halfords voucher, but Halfords doesn't sell Bromptons. What followed was me jumping through bureaucratic hoops for the next month and a half. They requested that I send the voucher back to them, so I sent it back on the same day. Then they were going to ring me back with a reference number. They lost my voucher and I had to ring them several times before I got it. Then I had to go a bike shop selected by Halfords (not one of the convenient ones close to me) and choose a bike and give them my reference number. Then Halfords had to send them a cheque for the balance of the bike. This took them six weeks and they lost the original invoice.

I picked up my bike on Friday (4th May). The bike shop attendant told me that because it was purchased through Halfords I could only get a free service in a Halfords store, but he advised against doing that and suggested I go somewhere where the staff know about bikes.

Anyway my bike is SWEET!

Institute of Contemporary Arts

2007-03-21T02:27:00.000-07:00

There haven't been any new films out recently that are worth seeing. Over the weekend I watched 300 (lots of scantily clad muscular dudes slow motion fighting) and The Illusionist (lots of forgettable computer generated illusions with a lame-ass twist at the end). I suppose all the best stuff was unleashed at the Oscars and now choice is limited. I've been increasingly disappointed with the films coming out of Hollywood, so I was pleased to discover the Institute of Contemporary Arts, an art gallery, cinema and bar situated on the Mall close to Buckingham palace. The films on offer have clearly been selected on merit rather than their ability to make money hence providing the opportunity to see some of the best in independent and foreign films that were not on general release. I've seen two AMAZING films there over the past month..

The Bridge

The Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco is the capital location for suicides in the world. For the whole of 2004 a camera crew filmed the bridge catching all but one of the suicides that year, and multiple close calls. I should point out that several attempts were aborted by the camera men who alerted the coastguard when it became obvious that a person was about to jump - but in the majority of cases the victim did not wait to be dissuaded after they had climbed over the fence.
In one particularly haunting scene a nearby photographer began taking pictures of a girl who was about to jump, she is show in the video above holding one foot over the edge of bridge. The photographer said he felt disconnected from the would-be-jumper before coming to his senses and pulling the girl back over the fence.
I highly recommend this film, it's sad, hauntingly beautiful and will stay on your mind for days.

Sheitan

A French horror comedy starring that guy from Ocean's 12. This film in now top of my facebook list of favorite films... It's that good! It has lots of very ugly people and some hard-core French Rap. I think that's all the description I need to give it, check it out here.

Comic Strips

2007-03-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

Back in uni I went through a phase of drawing little comic strips - I say "drawing", they were actually stick men taking the piss. Seem as my old website is long gone they now exist in this Flikr album...

A couple of real comics strips from which I took my "inspiration": White Ninja, xkcd.

The Perils of Messenger

2007-03-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

I used to used MSN messenger all the time about two years ago. ALL THE TIME! Thankfully my transition to Google talk has been painless, and now I'm addicted to social networking rather than instant messaging. I was initially worried about starting over with my contacts list, but thankfully most of my friends are technically minded and saw the benefit in moving over too.

I do however have a couple of friends who haven't migrated. Friends who are stuck in a 90s time warp and probably enjoy listening to Brit Pop and wearing Doc Martin boots while using this vintageIM client. They just don't understand why they should change. They become offended when I call them Luddites and get confused when I attack Messenger from a software engineering orUI design perspective. So for their benefit I present my top five annoyances of MSN Messenger:

(5) The Protocol
Have you ever blocked someone or just closed the window when someone tries to start a conversation with you? How rude! The Messenger protocol broadcasts that kind of information and other clients that have reversed engineered the the Messenger protocol have the ability to decypher it. I used to use an MSN client on Linux that had the ability to do this. Quiet eye opening when you're chasing down someone in your group project who doesn't want to reveal how little work they've done.

(4) Advertising
It's free software and Microsoft want some return on their investment. But OMG! Way to ram it down our throats guys!!

(3) Cluttered interface
MSN provides a clickable "Send" button for you to use instread of just pressing Enter. It also provides a "Search" button so you can type in an MSN Search query directly into the message field. USEFUL! The UI designers really need to make some priority calls about what is included.

(2) Use of user selected nick names
"http://news.bbc.co... has just signed in" INFORMATIVE! Yes you can hack about, install extensions etc, but why not release something that is useful by default? Messenger certainly got better when it introduced both name and personal message fields, but this is often abused and is particularly distracting when trying to have a conversation with someone who has a handle that spans more than a line of text (especially if it includes smileys).

(1) Feature Bloat

"I know you have a thousand ideas for all the cool features iTunes could have. So do we. But we don’t want a thousand features. That would be ugly. Innovation is not about saying yes to everything. It’s about saying NO to all but the most crucial features." - Steve Jobs talking about innovation in iTunes

MSN messenger has gone waaaay over the top with feature bloat. Winks? Great - someone is illustrating their point by sending me a cheesy flash animation. Nudges? FFS! I'm having conversations with three other people, wait your fucking turn! The first time I received a nudge I calmly closed downMSN and didn't open it again for six months.

Rant over.

Cool Blog: JohnChow.com

2007-03-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

I'm constantly hearing about people who are able to make enough money from their blogs to become full time bloggers. I've also met (in real life!) someone who is able to pay his rent from the advertising revenue he receives from his site Bristol Lair. But most people who start blogs seem to languish in obscurity. So how can you make money from a blog? Or rather how can you generate enough traffic to get advertising revenue?

John Chow appears to be dominating the blogsphere right now. He has quirky blog about internet advertising and how to make money on line. His regular posts and reviews from high profile sites seem to have manifested a huge following. He thoroughly tests new advertising services and referral systems on his own site before posting indepth reviews. Obviously this kind of real life test drive yields a much more interesting article than a quick review by a magazine editor.

Perhaps one of his most amusing experiments is his quest to gain page rank by using reciprocal linking. Bloggers link to his site using a particular series of words and in return he links back to them. A link from a high traffic page such as his could bump the traffic and the page rank of a smaller blog considerably. In return the number of bloggers linking to him bumped his website onto the first page of a Google search for "The root of all evil" (currently he's 5th place). Now his shrewed marketing mind has decided to begin reciprocal linking on the phrase "make money online" which is a popular Google search. If he can manipulate the Google Page Rank and get on the front page it will be extremely lucrative.

So head over to JohnChow.com to make money online (I'm shameless ;))!

My new ambition in life is to be the first result of a Google search for Andrew Smith. There are lots of us, but I want that first place! So if anyone out there wants to participate in some link karma......

Satanism

2007-03-16T03:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I attended a talk arranged by Skeptics in the pub about the mass hysteria surrounding child abuse by satanic cults. This organisation invites speakers to present their arguments against blind faith or the paranormal and the event takes place in a pub near London Bridge. Last night's speaker was Jean La Fontain, a social sciences professor at the LSE.

During the late 90s there was increase in reports of child abuse by Satanic cults in America and the UK. This was widely reported by the papers and conspiracy theories were rife. Many believed that children were being abused and possibly sacrificed during satanic rituals, furthermore the satanic movement was so pervasive that it had influence in the police force and government that allowed it to operate above the law. The government took notice of these rumors and sponsored the research of professor La Fontain to discover what was really going on.

As it turns out only a minor percentage of the cases exhibited any evidence of real abuse, and in the ones that did the perpetrators were mentally ill, there was no consistency in the satanic rituals that they used and no link between them. The talk touched on how the masses can become over enthusiastic about rumours, especially when child abuse and devil worship are concerned. She explained how improper questioning of children may be equivalent implanting suggestions and explained how children who refused to admit they had been abused were considered to be in denial.

She also suggested that the rumour may have originated unknowingly from Evangelical Christians. Satan is a Christain concept and as Evangelism increases in Britain so does the denunciation of "sinners" as being in league with Satan. A combination of fear mongering and high emotions fueled by the media resulted in a widely held belief, despite the lack of any evidence.

I saw a documentary that covered similar subject matter called Capturing the Friedmans. This was a film that avoided making conclusions while telling the story of a father and son who purportedly abused a series of children at a computer class they were teaching. One of the most memorable scenes was when an expert is explaining how children in abuse cases should be questioned contrasted with how they were actually questioned. To avoid implanting suggestions children should be asked open ended questions and be allowed to explain the situation in their own words, however in reality they are often asked directly and repeatedly "were you abused?" and often accused of lying or being in denial until they answer affirmatively.

The talk was certainly thought provoking, and I look forward to attending the next one.

Innovation

2007-03-15T08:45:00.000-07:00

Today everyone at my company was issued with a booklet about innovation. I'm viciously skeptical about corporate management and the rhetoric that they produce. When I hear managers speak I visualise them standing around a white board constructing every sentence to be inspirational and motivational; they always fail and produce something that is condescending and stupid. It pisses me off when people from a non-technical background claim to have developed the skills to manage and believe those skills can be applied in any area. They don't understand how to build a culture of technical innovation and are seemingly oblivious to the solutions that other companies have implemented. Rather than leaning from companies like Google and Apple they have decided to to take a cheap, non-committal option and produce a booklet. My booklet is now filed top of a banana skin in my bin.

I mentioned Apple. I would like to point you in the direction of this speech made by Steve Jobs that I stumbled across on the Positivity Blog. This is one of the most inspiring speeches I have ever heard, and it allows me to be very Web 2.0 by embedding a video in my blog. Watch it now! I think this video illustrates that for innovation in a corporate environment you need inspirational leadership and incremental development (you can only join up the dots looking back).

I will start my own business on day (I'm just waiting for that awesome idea to smack me in the face). For now here a couple of sweet-ass out-of-the-box ideas that I have seen recently

India

2007-03-14T15:07:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that I'm posting again! That means that I have officially abandoned my secret anonymous blog and am now free to spend time on "Andrew's Blog".

Today I bought tickets to India. I'm travelling out to Mumbai on the 16th May and staying out in West India for two weeks. I hope to visit a vast open air market and visit the shrine of SriNisargadatta Maharaj. I also want to travel down to Goa and sip cocktails on the vast beaches. Currently the plan is that we turn up at the airport with a rough idea of what we want to do. No hotels booked, no internal tickets purchased, just play it by ear. I'm sure I'll blog about it closer to the time.

The Phantom Logger

2007-03-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

Boarding school can provide a very strange environment and fantastic opportunity for toilet humor.

On our floor their were four toilets to serve about 15 people. Most of the humor that revolved around these ceramic receptacles consisted of practical jokes like switching off the light leaving the victim to finish their shit in pitch blackness, or "dive bombing" which involved soaking hand-fulls of toilet paper in water and throwing them into the victims cubical while they were helpless to retaliate, ah happy times.

Their was, however, a more sinister side to compliment all this good clean fun. Every so often a shit of vast proportions would appear in the toilet bowl. These beasts were of epic proportions, often averaging about 5cm in diameter. These would often attract considerable attention and the legend of the Phantom logger was born.

Now obviously with hindsight a highly feasible explanation can be offered in place of the Phantom logger theory. An ordinary sized shit remains in the bowl while all the toilet paper is flushed away unbeknown to the patron who goes to wash his hands. While floating there the log begins to absorb water by process of osmosis. Concurrently the toilet water takes on a brown gravy-like consistency to compliment the "dumpling". Some time later the log has doubled or tripled in size.

One day the common room was alerted to the fact that the Phantom logger had struck. Naturally we all rushed to see. What greeted us was the biggest shit I had ever seen. A vast, stinking globule of faeces that consisted of about twenty-five percent sweet corn. The Phantom logger had produced his magnum opus.

But the shit had a dark aura, much like the one ring. As soon as the group had been exposed to it bickering and in fighting began. Vehement denials and brutal scrutinising of alibis ensued. I felt the best way to counteract this decent of evil would be to scapegoat one of my patrons thus providing the rest of the house with closure. The person I chose was Higgins. I got a permanent marker and wrote "Higgins did it" on the underside of the toilet lid. Higgins wasn't very happy.

During the resulting hilarity our house master wandered in taking by surprise. He began shouting about his disgust and incredulity while we strained to suppress our mirth. "I can't believe...Boys your age...it's disgusting...Flush it away..FLUSH IT AWAY!!!" He told me to clean off the writing, before giving Higgins the most disgusted, disappointed look. Imagine a proud father being told his son was a murdering paedophile addicted to heroine, and you just about come close.

Epilogue
In the following months and years I crossed paths with the Phantom logger on many occasions but I would never see such an impressive shit ever again. THE END.

Another Blog Post

2006-11-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

I've been reading lots of blogs about personal finances recently, allow me to recommend a couple: Get Rich Slowly and Steve Pavlina's Blog (mainly concerning personal development). I stumbled across both accidentally at lifehacker, but they conceived the train of thought that, now I've emerged from studentdom and am locked into the 9 'til 5 daily grind, I should be making my money work for me rather than blowing the month's excess on shit.
This article neatly condenses a myriad of self-help-financial books into a series of concise bullet points. It would appear that the widely advocated first step is to pay off your debts and save an emergency fund that could potentially support you for up to six months. I was particularly intrigued by the "debt-snow ball method" which involves: listing all of your debts in ascending order; paying the monthly minimum back on each one plus an optional excess on the smallest; when the smallest is paid off add what you would have been paying to the next largest monthly payment on the list. Simple and elegant but I'm unsure if it's applicable to my £200 overdraft and £10 000 student loan, especially seem as the guys at the Student Loan Company are kind enough to take payments directly out of my paycheck theus avoiding me the hassle. And the next step: revenue generating assets. Hmm can't really see that happening for a few years, but I can see how that is the way to go (but note the new google ads at the top of the page ;)).

Next week I'm off to France to help teach a course. I'm quite looking forward to honing my public speaking and presentation skills. I think that the key here is to rule with an iron-fist. I'm looking forward to intercepting notes citing how sexy I am and making sure no one gets away with chewing in class without "offering every one else one".

Back to work now..
Andy

Chav Scum

2006-11-20T06:43:00.000-08:00

So Minions, 'twould appear that some stinking chav, unworthy of the heel of my stylish size 12 boot, has stolen my bike. While locked outside my company's building my commuting work-horse and sole source of exercise was purloined by a hooded figure at 17:19 last Friday evening.

Annoyingly I usually leave at 5pm sharp in order that I can get home early and prepare for the evening's festivities, but on the evening in question I had prolonged my working day in the hope that it would stop raining before the journey home. When I wandered outside a mere twentyminutes after the incident, fully attired in the most fashionable cycling garb, I noticed, to my dismay, that the rack was sans bike and lock. Upon receipt of this information the security guard and sexy-Australian-secretary were able to scrutinise the CCTV footage while I went and changed into something more appropriate for the busy tube ride home. In low definition, 2 frame per second video I was able to witness the aforementioned pikey bastard pick my lock with the deftness and dexterity of Ron Jeremy's tongue, then nonchalantly ride off into the sunset.

Reasons why this could be a good thing:

My saddle was safely upstairs with me, so he should have a sore ass. I hope it hurts you fucking chav scum.
The chav could have been my future-self (disguised) sent back in time to save me from an horrific cycling accident.

Aaaaanyway, now my plan of action is to buy a cheap second hand bike to tide me over until the January sales when I can buy a SWEET bike from Evans.

Brno

2006-11-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

So I spent last weekend in Brno visiting Robin, my friend from school and student at Brno university in the Czech Republic. Now lets get one thing straight about the Czech Republic: the girls are HOT! I've been told this in the past and was always slightly cynical; perhaps I believed that it was the abundance of blond hair or the skewed perceptions of holiday makers drunk on seasonal excitement and cheap beer. But seriously dudes, they are the whole package: amazing bodies, sweet innocent looks, good fashionsense, and the list goes on and on. Consistently our intellectual conversations were interrupted by explanations of "Jesus fucking Christ, that girl is FIT!" or "FUCK! Look at her ass" from myself or my entourage. But in comparison the guys out there are complete chodes, I've never seen so many mullets or cheap sportswear in my life.

This was definitely the most masculine weekend of my life. Never before have I drunk so much, played computer games and hung around in my boxer-shorts for such an extended period. Oh, and we didn't visit any of the sights because we were sleeping during the day. SWEET!

Moi

2006-07-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not a habitual reader. I usually read several books in one burst and then relapse into dvd box sets of American TV shows. While I don't consider this to be a bad thing (I have no intention of becoming scifi/fantasy addict or a whore to the best seller shelf) it does mean that I miss out on lots of interesting things in the literary world.

I burst of reading is usually provoked by a long train journey and a lengthy wait in the WH Smiths at Paddingon Station. Ergo Blink, Tipping Point and most recently: Freakonomics - a really cool book about applications of economics and statistics to esoteric corners of the human condition. Subjects range from cheating in Sumo wrestling, how a child's name reflects on their success in life and (most controversially) how legalised abortion lead to a decrease in violent crime in New York. By far the biggest surprise, however, is that the majority of the research and the supporting papers were produced by the authors (unlike Malcolm Gladwell - who produces a compelling series of borrowed ideas).

I checked out Freakonomics in the Blogsphere. They have an awesome blog which provides more perspective on the ideas explored in the book, as well as Freakonomics-esque ideas that are still in their infancy. Yesterday they linked to, and discussed, an article about blogging trends. Data was harvested from a random selection of blogs including some from Blogspot. Analysis showed that vast numbers of blogs were abandoned shortly after conception, most only receiving updates over eight distinct days. Obviously that reminded me that my own Blog was currently bit-rotting somewhere on Google's servers. So here we are...an update after about six months.

I'm unsure why I have been so unable to keep a blog going. I appear to have transcended my blog addiction phase, where everything I did prompted a desire to inform my minions about it in a witty, condescending and factual manner. I'm hardly a sophist and for someone as apathetic as me it seems quite arrogant and uncharacteristic to give so many unoriginal opinions to people who won't care anyway. I've revisited my Blog a couple of times over the past few months with an interesting nugget of information which after spending some time writing up couldn't bring myself to inflict on the world. I'm in dire need of a blog identity which doesn't involve regurgitating other websites, I tried talking about me, then technology, then movie reviews - none of which really worked, so fuck it I'm going to talk about me again.

And to continue with the trend of literary excellence, during last weekend's überfesticle my über-counterpart and I purchased a leather bound "über-tome" to archive the events hosted by the über-foundation and their associated quotes. Btw: currently the sole contender for the über-fest 2k6 official quote is "Rock on. Rock the FUCK on!"...we have to get t-shirts! Also I just brought a book called "I hope they serve Beer in Hell" purely because the quotes on the back (think a dichotomy of praise and unmitigated revulsion). I'll get back to y'all if it's any good.

10 mins Later:
Oh fuck yes - this book is awesome, some of it is online: maybe you could drop this anecdote at your next dinner party.

Friday Afternoon

2006-02-10T03:05:00.000-08:00

Minions,

Yesterday, as I cycled home, it was light! this could only have occured for two possible reasons: The days are getting longer or I'm leaving work earlier. Probably a combination of the two.
Before I go any further I think that y'all should read "The Bitterest Soup" Part 1 and Part 2, over at somethingawful.com (your first port of call for comic writing and photoshop merryment).
So I havn't graced you with a movie review for quite some time, which is surprising seem as Simon and I have seen so many. To name a few Good night and good luck, George Clooney's second film as director, and Shop girl a surprisingly good film (well for a Steve Martin film anyway). But most notably: "A Cock and Bull Story" which thus far is the main contender for the illustrius title of "Andrew Smith award for cinematic awesomness 2006", but I'm loathed to tell you anything about it because it may ruin the experience.
Anyway, this friday afternoon is really dragging on, and the latest BHOF and Photoshop Phriday are yet to be published. I have been amusing myself by drawing a picture of Oscar Wild in period garb, but I decided blogging makes a better pretence of working.

Yours sincerely,
AS

Chaps

2006-01-27T16:49:00.000-08:00

Me: I think I might write a blog entry this evening, now that I'm suitably inebriated.
Young Simon: Don't you mean suitably lubricated?
Internal Monologue: wtf?
Me: ...er no.

Minions, how have you been?

Well lots of stuff has happend recently. Here's a couple of select blog-esque entries for you to ponder:

Rob and Elliot's Hampton

Hey everyone, how are you? That’s good. We haven’t spoken in some time and I wanted to let you know that I am still alive...

True Contradictiction's very own Dicky Warbo

Apologies dear readers my blog has been devoid of content this week...

And my very own critically aclaimed blogtastic blog:

I feel obliged to apologise for not posting over the last couple of days...

So basically a whole load of peple apologising for shit. If they really cared they would have just updated their blog to provide their minons with the general interest articles that they crave. Do any of you want an apology? Obviously you must be destraught after such a period of absence and ready to hear some words of wisdom from your lord and master: so in that case what do I have to say for myself? Mundane detail? Well that is the theme of this blog.

So this morning I woke up at 6:45am, only to discover I was still fully dressed (even in my hat and coat). I seem to be getting in to the habbit of getting fucked off my face at the regular corporate "free bar" events I have become accustom to and waking up the next morning feeling rather worse for ware and with a selection of corporate branded goods. Whatever, it's all good.

Anyway I have done other stuff this week, but hardly anything interesting or amusing enough to merit writing about. Anyway I should really go ahead and sleep off my intoxication. Later minions; nice to converse with you again. (btw. I can't be bothered to read thü or spell-check)

AS.

Back on the scene

2006-01-21T15:03:00.000-08:00

Hey Minions, what's up?

I feel obliged to apologise for not posting over the last couple of days, but I've been busy moving desks at work and getting pissed with Simon. I'm sure you've missed my unique insight into computing and movies. But fear not, I'm back on the blogging scene with a vengeance: Extravagance and Indulgence is the new communal blog from Simon, AG and myself, currently only populated with our statement of intent, but destine to flourish into an invaluable resource for hedonism and decadence.

I went ahead and watched Doom this evening. It was bollocks. I was bored all the way through despite being slightly tipsy and with Simon providing a commentary spliced with his usual razor sharp sardonic wit. Admittedly the "first person" scene (shot from the same perspective as the game) was pretty cool - but in general the it was nothing like the original games and the acting was shit.

Be sure to head over to AG's blog to check out his pics of the Thames Whale. Unfortunately I was too busy hanging around the flat in my "trunk fit" boxer shorts and watching Alias season 2 to head out and see it. However I did witness a builder (presumably working on the bridge after its little accident) presenting his expert opinion to a police officer exclaiming that "scientists were baffled by its porpoise like shape". Battersea bridge was certainly fucking crowded with people jostling to catch a glimpse of this aquatic mammal, which hindered my usual trip to meet Simon and pick up a Venti Latte with a sprinkling of cinnamon and nutmeg...but it worked out in the end and much merriment was had by all.

Any way I feel a bit tired and emotional, so I'm going to watch a couple more eps of Alias and head to bed. Who the fuck says I never include any mundane detail about my life eh? eh?

L8r minions,
AS

Review: Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-19T02:10:00.000-08:00

When I mentioned to AG that I had blogged about my tv picks for '06 the explosion of mirth that ensued coincided with him taking a generous gulp of water. A few seconds of coughing and spluttering later he exclaimed "Dude, I've actually got tears in my eyes!" a phrase that held particular poignance with me as just a few hours earlier I had holding back the tears at the end of Brokeback Mountain: the critically acclaimed gay cowboy movie.

The film follows the lives of two "cowboys" played by Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, who meet while tending sheep on Brokeback Mountain. I've only seen Heath Ledger in 10 things I hate about you and a Knights Tale, both entertaining in their own right, but neither gained him a reputation as a fantastic actor, so I was slightly dubious when I saw that he was playing the lead. I was very surprised. Ledger carried this film with a staggering performance of a man of few words and was able to convey emotion with a single glance. Gyllenhaal is also flourishing as an actor and is no longer "that guy from Donnie Darko" but "Jake ..Gulhall..Gilanhall..how the fuck do you pronounce it?".

Ang Lee hurtles through the story: their relationship begins so quickly that if I hadn't been so well publicised as a gay cowboy movie I would have been very surprised. The film then jumps through time concentrating on the important moments in each of their lives over the next twenty years as they go and get married, have children and continue their secret relationship. Almost from the beginning I felt a feeling of impending doom manifested by the sheep owners disgust on observing them kissing, the ultra-violent aftermath of an anti-gay attack, and Jack Twist's promiscuity it a time when aids was rife. But what really shone out for me was Ledger's performance as Ennis Del Mar: deeply depressed, unable to express his emotions and unable to come to terms with his love for Jack.

This film has already won a few golden globes and will do well at the Oscars. I suggest that you go and see this film asap.

Andy's tv picks!

2006-01-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

So January is when all the American tv shows that started in September/October start filtering over the UK. As a tv and film addict, and being fairly up-to-date with what has been shown so far I thought I would share my wisdom with you: my minions. Lost is currently the most watched tv series on tv and deservedly so, but you all know about Lost so I won't bore you. Desperate housewives is back for another season, however I'm a lot less impressed; there's no real mystery or story-arc compared with the first season and it is beginning to feel too much like a soap opera, however it was showing signs of improvement in the last episodes before Christmas. The first few eps of The O.C. were dire, not even the fit-ness of Marissa and Summer could redeem it, so I'm going to leave that until the whole season is available for download. Smallville is still going strong providing cheesy teen melodrama and freaks of the week.

So what about the new ones? There's lots of new stuff coming out this year and I've only been able to fit two new shows into my rigorous schedule (however I do plan to give Bones and House a try). Allow me to dispense my opinions:

Prison Break

Prison break is about a guy who gets sent to prison in order to break out his brother who is on death row, but there's a twist: he designed the prison and he's had the blue-prints tattooed onto his body in some kind of magic eye pattern. Cheesy? Yes. Contrived? Of course. Awesome? Definitely! Another arc-centric show with enough cliff hangers to keep you coming back for more and a really fit prison doctor.

My main gripe with the show is that the conspiracy seems to go a bit too far and the people wrongly accusing this clean cut family man of murder are directly subordinate to the vice-president's widow. Also I am uncertain that the story will be strong enough to sustain another season. Obviously they can't actually escape or the show will have to end and it is inconceivable that the main guy will have formulated a never ending supply of elaborate plans.

Invasion

Invasion has potential to be a really big show, and people are already talking about it in this country. It's about a town close to a large nature reserve that gets hit by a hurricane, during which several people go missing and strange lights are seen falling from the sky. The day after the missing are found naked and with no recollection of what happened to them. The show focuses on Russell Varon (Eddie Cibrian from Tilt and But I'm a Cheerleader!): park ranger, family man and cynic; but by far my favourite character is Dave: Extra terrestrial conspiracy theorist and prolific blogger.

Watch this show, 'tis awesome.

Later minions

Teen comedies and web anonymity

2006-01-17T03:51:00.000-08:00

I watched Just Friends last night. Rather than writing a review I just want to assure you that it is exactly as one would expect: two-dimensional, predictable and very funny. AG, MS and I also re-watched the 40 year old virgin last night, an extremely good accompaniment to a vast tumbler of Talisker.

Musings on Web Anonymity:

(Inspired by this article, and everything it links to for about three iterations)

When I was at school we had a really shitty web-filtering system that was designed to prevent us accessing inappropriate material on the school computers. This was done by a simple proxy server with string comparison which inevitably was not robust enough to let the odd "healthy-interest" site through. Web site addresses would be stored in an excel document which the head of IT would have to manually search for dodgy words and run across campus to catch people in the act. Of course my computer was protected by a bit of shrewd tweaking of my network settings so I didn't have to worry about the filtering or the address caching. Recently however I have been becoming more and more paranoid about who can see my network traffic, specially with the during the current crack down on music and movie sharing (like the ones mentioned above) and my prolific blogging at work.

Unencrypted web traffic has been compared to sending a postcard in pencil: Anyone who handles it can read it and even delete/change it. There are plenty of Anonomizer-esque services (like this google hack) which can usually help you get into blocked sites or mask your activity, but they are not a robust long term solution. That's why I was interested in Tor. Unlike an anonomizer it routes your traffic through three servers, each one only being aware of the last and next node in the chain and unable to read the data that it is routing. This means highly secure, extremely difficult to trace internet access. The key to Tor is Onion routing. An routing scheme where the data is protected by three private keys, each protecting the identity of the next node in the chain.

Of course this may not see massive adoption in areas like P2P unless publishing companies take a much more aggressive action against home users. The reasons:

It will slow down the connection speed
You may be facilitating the transfer of inappropriate material
You may be liable for the material you help transfer even though you don't know what it is and can't decrypt it

However such a system would be advantageous to people living in countries where the internet is restricted (like China), and as users become more paranoid about security or being watched such systems are bound to improve and see wide spread usage.

Review: Jarhead

2006-01-16T03:10:00.000-08:00

Fuck politics. We're here. All the rest is bullshit.

Jarhead follows US Marine Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford (Gyllenhal) from his initial training and induction into a sniper division of the US Marines, his service in Desert Storm (The Gulf War) and his eventual discharge. I was pleased to see that Mendes did not attempt to contrive a cohesive storyline; I often find that biographical films begin to go down hill when the interesting part of the person's life is over (Blow, Men of Honour). Instead Mendes focuses on the psychological aspect of war and presents the film of a series of (often isolated) events during Swafford's service. The pacing in this film is exceptional, Mendes does not linger on unimportant moments.
Jarhead bears more than a passing resemblance to American Vietnam films including Apocalypse Now, Platoon and most prominently Full Metal Jacket however it distinguishes itself from these films by focusing primarily on psychology and relationships. The politics and ethics of war are rarely mentioned and throughout the entire conflict Swaff does not even fire his rifle. Instead we bare witness to their boredom and sexual frustration as they wait for the Iraqis to invade. Their relationships with their wives girlfriends is examined in great detail. At one point we are shown the "Wall of Shame": a place where pictures of cheating partners are placed with accompanying messages like "I loved her and she cheated with my best friend".
For the most part the solders are exceptionally moral and magnanimous, any kind of racist expressions are scape-goated onto a single character who we could not possible become endeared to as he eventually mutilates the body of a dead Arab. However in one disturbing scene we see all the Marines watching the helicopter approach in Apocalypse Now, enthusiastically cheering and singing along to Wagner before going wild when they open fire on the Vietnamese village.
As can be expected from a Mendes film the camera work is masterful. One of the most striking scenes takes place in the oil fields, which had been set alight causing huge plums of dense black smoke and raining oil. And I was reminded of American Beauty in a scene where a Journalist interviews the Marines using a different quality camera and providing an opportunity to use narrative.
The music was also good, not for the Thomas Newman score, which I didn't really notice, but for the highly emotive rock/dance/pop that was used, presumably released during the war (maybe?). At one point the Marines hear a helicopter playing a Track by the doors and Swaff says "That's Vietnam music... can't we get our own music? ".

All in all a fantastic, emotive and shocking film. I recommend that you see it.

Review: Memoirs of a Geisha

2006-01-14T16:34:00.000-08:00

Foreign language films shown in Britain have generally endured rigerous criticism and analysis before reaching our screens. Only the excellent films are choosen by American production companies because they generate considerably less income. I enjoied Crouching Tiger, Hero and House of flying daggers so the trailer for Memoirs of a Geisha intrgued me. But Memoirs of a Geisha is not a foreign language film. I was very surprised when they started speaking in heavily accented English which soon turned to annoyance when I just couldn't understand them. It became particuarly surreal when a group of American soilders were introduced to the story; language barriers were ignored and all the characters conversed fluently in English without any difficulty.

You could tell that a lot of money had been thrown at this film. The cast included several high profile actors from the aformentioned Manderin films and the director has recieved critical aclaim for his previous picture: Chicago. Unfortunatly it was a wasted investment. This film was so rubish I won't bore you with details about the "plot". It completly lacked pace and seemed to be never ending. If you're going to make a film set in Japan then fim it in Mandarin. Don't see this film.

Dumbing down

2006-01-13T02:37:00.000-08:00

Hello Chaps,

So everyone knows that A-Levels are getting easier, but what about degree courses? I've read a couple of articles relating to IT graduates' ability to program after leaving, a sailient personal issue as a recent graduate and new starter as a software engineer. This article [theregister.co.uk] discusses the results of a survay of recent UK IT Graduates whose main gripe with their unis appears to be the absence of the latest languages from their syllabuses, specifically Java and .NET; and the conclusions drawn are that this issue should be "urgently addressed" and voccational training should be encouraged. I disagree with this entiarly. A good programmer should have a broad knowledge of programming concepts which can be applied to any programming language. This knowledge should be consolodated by teaching good software engineering practices and project management techneques rather than new languages which essentially amounts to syntax. Although I had many of my own complaints about Imperial's computer science course, programming was one of the areas they excelled in. Not due to the teaching of Java but the solid foundation in computer architecture, algorithm complexity and non-imperetive languages like Haskell and Prolog which lead to a much more holistic understanding of the system as a whole and the best algorithm for the job.

I was very impressed with this article[joelonsoftware.com] that attacks Java as the main computer science course language due to its inability to provide experience in recursion or memory management. Most importantly he goes on to discuss how difficult recruitment has become since Java has become so pervasive: its hard to determine who will be the best programmer in a short interview because their knowledge is so limited. I defend Java as a teaching language, however it leaves much to be desired. I sent the article to a recruitment officer in HR who responded saying she "may use it" during this year's intake process. So there we go, I'm imposing my views on people in other ways than this blog.

AS

Review: Match Point

2006-01-12T01:59:00.000-08:00

The innocent are sometimes slain to make way for grander schemes. You were collateral damage.

I have been impressed with the quality of films coming out of Britain recently. Keeping Mum and Mrs. Henderson Presents both showcased fantastic British talent and superior production quality that is in stark contrast to the "gritty realism" of independent pictures that dominated British cinema during the 90s. Of course these films are often joint ventures with America to make them economically feasible, often including an American actor/director to draw in the crowds on the other side of the pond. Match point is no exception. It is a beautifly English film, the first half consisting of such British-upperclass humor that it is remenisent of an Oscar Wild play; but Match Point is directed by Woody Alan and is his very first film shot outside of New York.
Match Point is certainly very different to any Woody Alan film I have seen, prehaps because Rhys-Meyers' lead performance ooses confidence and alpha male traits that seem out of phase with Alan's typecast comedic, self critical roles.
The film follows the story of Chris Wilton (Rhys-Meyers) who by luck and Machiavellian ruthlessness, incorporates himself into the British-upper class by marrying into an extremly wealthy family, despite his dishonarable intentions towards his poor American soon-to-be sister inlaw (Johansson). Wilton's skill at seduction is extremely refined and endeering, and at this point in the film he is extremly likable.
During the second half Alan becomes a master of suspence, something I was not expecting. It is extremly fast paced and unpredictable. I think that to fully apreciate this you should know as little as possible about what is going to happen, so I won't ruin it for you :)

The camera work is fantastic throughout often taking the opertunity to linger on the Victorian opulance that London is famous for and the locations are primarily the most exclusive/expensive parts of the city (Bond Street, Sloan Square etc.) The use of a recuring music that tied into the story was also highly effective.

Overall I thought this film was fantastic and well deserving of the praise it recieved at Cannes.

Wikipedia

2006-01-11T03:16:00.000-08:00

In response to news that Chinese govenment were blocking access to Wikipedia due to "sensitive" articles (including one about the Tiananmen Square student protest), I headed over to Wikipedia to check it out. I was rather surprised to encounter a piece of wiki vandalism, the first that I have ever seen, under the entry for China (pictured). After a few seconds however it was reverted back to a previous revision, a testement to the robustness of wikipedia and the dedication of its contributors.

Wikipedia has been criticised recently for making it too easy for people to add defamatory comments, especially on biographies. Unfortunatly there is no solution to this that will not fundamentally alter the wiki dynamic. However as Wikipedia's popularity grows incidents of this nature will be noticed quickly and amended.

Seven days...

2006-01-10T04:39:00.000-08:00

Those of you who have seen The Ring may be slightly worried by this pic. However as this pic is a couple of weeks old and I saw Martin alive a couple of days ago, he's probably in the clear.

Cat and Girl

2006-01-10T03:02:00.000-08:00

So I mentioned that I was going to put stuff up about webcomics on here. I don't really want this site to turn into yet another web-comic review site, there are too many already, so i'll only ever post the ones that I think are good and try and keep them to a minimum. Today I present Cat and Girl, one of my favorite atm where our protaganists: an anthropomorphic cat and a girl discuss topical issues relating to politics, art and class division. Occasionaly the jokes relate to obscure american politics and requires googling to understand but the rest of the time they are so good (and so intellectual) it's worth googling to see what they're getting at. They have a huge archive, which, like many, improves significantly as time goes on and they find their feet.
Anyway, that's my recommendation for all of you who are lucky enough to work in an office where your boss can't see your screen.

Concurrency for dummies

2006-01-10T01:51:00.000-08:00

I've wanted to post my thoughts about concurrency for a while as mulit-core systems are appearing all over the place and it will certainly have a significant influence over processor design for the next decade or until there is a transition away from imperitive programming.

It would appear that, for clock speed at least, Moore's Law has ground to a halt. Clock speed has been stagnated around 3.5GHz for some time now and does not show any real signs of moving on in the near future mainly due to power consumption and cooling requirements. It can certainly be increased under labatory conditions but it seems that the threshold for home use has been reached. To many clock speed no longer matters; a couple of GHz goes well beyond what is required for web browsing and word processing, but with multimedia applications becomming more wide spread the need for more processing power, to achieve things like real-time video encoding, is still massivly in damand.

Although for a long time clock speed was increasing exponentially there was very little innovation in processor design. The best we could expect was an increased instruction set, increased cache size and a flashy new name like MMX, Pantium etc. But in the last few years we have seen a myriad of new approaches to squeesing more processing power from a fixed speed e.g. High end processors are now almost all 64bit. But the biggist change will be concurrency. A few years ago multi processor machines were almost exclusivly mainframes or super computers, but they have been completly assimilated into home computing, even appearing in the Xbox 360.

So a multi-core chip running two 3.5GHz processors in parallel means 7GHz of raw processing power, right? Unfortunatly not, and hear-in lies the biggest problem with concurrent systems: some things can be parallelised, some cannot. The quintesential analogy, used in concurrency courses for years, is a pregnant woman: one woman can create a baby in 9 months, but 9 women cannot create a baby in one month. It is the same for certain algorithms. Consider adding two 64bit numbers on a 32bit machine. This will always take at least two cycles as the first the sum of the first two parts influences how the second are calculated (i.e. carry bit), so they must be performed sequentially. This problem maps onto much more complex problems often resulting in entire applications that are not well suited to running on parallel systems. Obviously the most sensible "quick fix" would be to run different applications on different processors. i.e. have Windows running on one processor and a third party app running on another. But this only provides better multi-tasking and will not help our hypothetical real-time video encoding application mentioned earlier, as it will still be limited to the power of a single core.

We can only take advantage of this new power if programs are re-written specifically for this architecture, and it is unlikely that the upper limit of number of cores x speed of the cores will ever be reached. And here is the second problem assciated with parallel computing: concurrent programming is hard. There are lots of different styles of concurrent programming, but few experts due to the lack of concurrent architectures.

In conclusion, for multi-core systems to live up to the hype we will need to see a change in the way code is written, which will certainly result in better languages and a better general understanding among programmers. Just remember that if you buy a multi-core processor this year you may not necessarily be getting what you expect.

Passive Cooling with Cooking Oil

2006-01-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

OMG, How sweet is this?

über-definition

2006-01-09T01:36:00.000-08:00

So the dvd replacement format war has begun and many are comparing it to VHS vs. Betamax, but I don't think that such a clear winner will emerge in this case. Firstly a good quality dvd player connected to a decent wide screen tv with some decent wiring (absoloutly nothing lsee than £20 here guys) looks pretty fucking sweet. Adding a high definition player to your current set up will not yield any noticable difference unless you buy a new tv that supports it. Dvd players did not recieved wide spread adoption until fairly recently, and the transition was comparitivly smooth. HD-DVD and Blu-ray will take a lot longer to achieve similar market penetration.

Let us also consider the darker side of the home theatre market. Video piracy is now ubiquitos. It is extremly easy to copy dvds, and full dvd images are increasingly available to download. We would have to observe an increase in private bandwidth to see similar availability for the new formats, but more importantly as the copyright owners move over to a primaraly digital medium there will become more aware of piracy and will enforce a much more stringent policy (drm, fairplay etc.) And what about pr0n? It's hard to deny that the availability the vhs lead to the complete obliteration of the "seedy private theatre" and the dvd provided the same content with a massive quality boost, but with competition from the internet this market is not crying out for a new format.

Sony have made a calculated desicion by including a Blu-ray player in the soon to be release PS3 and most new high-end tvs are "HD-TV ready". It seems more likely that these new technologies will gradualy make there way into consumer's homes due to the attrition and replacement of their current setup, and because of this slow uptake neither will achieve a monopoly. More likely is that we will see multi format players that will support DVD, HD-DVD and Blu-ray, and the only winners will be people like me who watch shit loads of movies and tv.

Charles Kennedy

2006-01-08T05:38:00.000-08:00

So Charles Kennedy resigned yesterday. Ha ha ha ha! lol! I think it's fairly clear that he read my critique about the lib dems over at Richard's sweet-ass blog.

2006-01-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

How rude of me. I didn't include any mundane detail about my life in my last post. Lucky I caught it before people satrted mistaking "Andrew's Blog" with "Andrew's treasure trove of interesting information".

So today I woke up at 4:19pm. I had to check a couple of clocks to check the time 'cos even I couldn't believe it. I'd only made it to bed at around 2am after a healthy 5 episodes of Alias, a healthy amount of cider, port and stilton before my healthy 14 hours sleep. So anyway: today I brought "The Annual 2006" by Ministry of Sound and was reminded how awesome the track Love Generation by Bob Sinclar was. After much deliberation I have to award the "Andrew Smith Award for Acoustic Excellence" to Bob Sinclar not only for his sweet-ass track but also for the sweet video (pictured) where an eight year old kid cycles from LA to New-York (and beyond). Watch this video, 'tis awesome. Obviously I award the "Andrew Smith Award for Blogging Excellence" to myself and would like to thank my friends, family and all other nominees.

Later

'Sup fools

2006-01-07T13:52:00.000-08:00

I jus' found this sweet-ass web-comic. I suggest that y'all check it out.

So I've been checking out Richard's blog which seems to be very politically orientated with a spattering of random facts and a pinch of shrewd observations. My blog, however fashionably minimalistic, cannot possibly compete with such a red hot crucible of intellectual debate so over the last minute or so I have been giving some serious thought as to what I should write about here. Blasphemy and profanity will clearly play a key role, and the usual blog stuff about what I had for breakfast, what "cool" things I did at the weekend etc. will obviously have to feature. But I need a shtick, an idiosyncratic originallity that will keep my minions coming back for more (and clearly debating what my blog will eventually be about just won't cut it). So I examined my current hobies: Drinking, American TV and Web Comics. Hmm, that should just about cover it. No? Well fuck you!

Later minions

2006-01-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

OMG, lots of people I know are setting up blogs and putting mine to shame; most notably : Mr Richard Warburton esq. who provides an insightful commentary on ...stuff (I'm yet to actually read it) and The dude next door to me who regularly updates a treasure trove of physics humour and ginger afro related ramblings.

Clearly I need to actually post something on here, but I'm at work and probably shouldn't have "Andrew's Blog" written across the screen for too long.

Later foo's

Breaking news

2005-04-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

Today I did more of the same monotonous shit. I really do intend to do something interesting and post it here, but my life is just so dull.

Blog goes live

2005-03-31T10:47:00.000-08:00

Today I created a blog instead of doing revision.